I wake up to the business of life. The street is serene and green. My small birds come to visit as always and I now have a cat. He purrs and meows to get my attention. He's soft and gray and somehow he brings me joy. Lots of it. I also wake up to the business of life. I have done another modeling shoot and this time I had an entire collection of dresses to pick from. My days have been so busy that my body aches more than the usual. I suspect the pain has to do with the pain of being alive. I thought of my mom last night. I was listening to this beautiful tango song that talks about visiting a grave while it rains. This idea that we can go and visit someone we love after their departure makes me want to cry. When I want to visit my mom, I drive to the beach. I haven't been there in a while. Somehow I know I have to go. I miss her so much. On Christmas evening, I had a dream and she hugged me so tight it felt so real. I woke up so happy. I wish I could have hugged her more. I...