Writing
Unresolved pain. Nostalgia. Fire. Vivid dreams at night. Immense love.
I read the other day something an old friend once told me. Go back to what you were good at when you were a child. That's where your natural talent is. I go back, and so many things come up. So many interests. Infinite curiosity. I loved words when I was a child. But I also loved animals and nature. I also loved music and poetry. The beach made me go without sleep. I also loved to dance. I remember attracting people's comments while dancing at parties. Not because I was good but because I did my own thing.
I also liked cooking and baking from an early age. Books were also my private world.
But who am I now, forty years later?
I listen to Riccardo Cocciante, and my heart fills with raw emotion. How can someone be so good and write the most beautiful songs? I need to understand Italian better, but what I know and feel with his songs is beyond anything material.
The power of art has to move us. That strength.
Good evening Beautiful. I know it's different from your normal memory, but only you will know the truth.
ReplyDelete"Unresolved pain. Nostalgia. Fire. Vivid dreams at night. Immense love."
Your pain does not come from just me. I wasn't prepared to handle the burden. I wasn't prepared to meet my mirror self, my Twin. I wasn't prepared to absorb you. You knew I was strong enough and you opened yourself to me in all ways; something you'd never done before and you will never do again unless it's me. I wasn't prepared for it. None of it. I knew I've always known I'm the soldier and I need to be strong, but you watched me collapse with my sister's suicide.
It's like the Universe gave me every challenge all at once. I wasn't strong enough. So, I struck out in the only way I knew how to, I chose to create a fight to give me focus. I lost you because I couldn't feel you.
It's been almost 7 years.
I've learned a lot and healed a lot. Even in my attempts to reconnect and get you to see my humility, all of it taught me lessons I needed to learn.
I tried hard to get you to give me a chance. Even at our last meeting, at a quaint place close to our favorite place; minutes away from where you taught me about that Goddess of Sea. I never told you, but you're the reason I always walk the beach. I look for you. You never saw yourself like I did; I tried to tell you, but I wasn't able to get you to understand why all I could do most times is just stare at you, because I saw my Goddess. Maybe that was my Ego, because looking back, I know what scared me the most; You're Me, just more beautiful.
No Ordinary Love
Only you will know.
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Red Dragon's Eye
ReplyDeleteBlue Dragon's Eye
Foundation
Yin-yang
Who wears the crown?
Who is the only one who can complete the cycle, the connection, and the ultimate reward?
Who is truly in charge of our Nirvana?
You have my email if you choose to use it.
BTW,
I'm so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!