Happy New Year

2008 was a paradoxical year.

It brought me a lot of pain and a lot of joy. I’ve met interesting and amazing people and not-so interesting and amazing people. I’ve done things that I’ve always wanted to do and things that I thought I could never do. I’ve written beautiful posts and I thought about a lot of things that I wanted to forget. I’ve accomplished some of my goals, but also understood that I have to review some of my other objectives.

I’ve suffered a lot. At some point, I thought I had lost my mind. I have felt very intensely in 2008. I’ve felt tango for the first time and several weeks. I understood Shakespeare a little better. I saw the sunrise at the beach by myself. I started exercising more. I helped people achieve their dreams. I was interviewed for the History Channel. I was in the newspaper. I cooked for someone wearing a Chinese dress. I painted my place with the colors I wanted and I’ve gotten my red wall. I saw my best friend get her citizenship. I voted for the first time in the United States.

I fell in and out of love. I admired new artists. I was inspired by their music and their work. I read poetry. I exchanged amazing e-mails. I got furious. I found out I am stronger than I thought. I had the amazing feeling of picking my brother up at the airport and taking him to his new home. We went for a picnic together on his first day here. I cooked for him his favorite dish. I took care of my nephew and found great pleasure in doing so. I grew older. I cried and I thought the pain was unbearable. I complained to G-d. I got amazing gifts from people who care about me in different ways. I’ve made new friends. I let people go. I bought beautiful shoes. I read what has become my favorite book. I took amazing pictures of myself and people I love. I took pictures of birds. I danced non-stop. I fell in love with two dogs. I made new mistakes.

I have forgiven my dad. I missed my mom. I called my dad a couple of times. I wished I could have called my mom. I had revealing dreams. I wore my most beautiful dresses in 2008. I’ve eaten my favorite foods. I went for walks on the beach by myself. I turned 30. I got my brother a music box. I got my first garter belt and wore my first fishnet stockings. I celebrated my nephew’s birthday. I went on vacation to the South and I learned more about this culture. I celebrated my sister's birthday.

I spent time with my best friend’s mom and it was great to get to know her. I became an imaginary friend. I lent my apartment to my best friend. I had my friends over for dinner. I smoked a cigar and felt sexy. I slept early. I woke up exhausted. I celebrated my brother’s birthday at my place.

I missed you. I had ice cream at the beach. I learned I can swim. I changed my hair style several times. I learned new makeup tricks. I got the most beautiful red gloss ever. I learned that I have to follow my intuition. I sang at the top of my lungs. I danced in the supermarket and on the street. I looked for help. I worked less. I understood that not everything’s my fault, but that I decide what's best for me. I didn’t get a traffic ticket for speeding. I went to two amazing concerts. I thought of my mom a great deal and how much I wanted her to be there with me.

I broke things. I got them fixed. I hurt people and they hurt me. There were days that I wished I were somewhere else. There were days that I could smell the busy streets of my hometown and I wanted to visit my old house. I planned a trip that was cancelled. I invented new words. I got confused. I wrote an essay, but I didn’t finish it. I prayed and there was someone listening to me.

I am ready for 2009.