Tenho a impressão que me preparo. Ou seria apenas uma ilusão vagabunda? O tempo urge cada vez mais monstruoso, me sorries, sais e vais ligeiro. Não te vejo ir da janela, não te aceno, não me despeço de ti. Fazia frio esta manhã, o céu estava azul. Ventava, um vento barulhento. Saí as pressas e me perdi numa floresta que fica perto da casa. Entre nós não havia cotidiano possível. Haviam ausências e desesperos e dramas que colidiam numa coisa chamada cama. Vou te explicar como ser eu. E te dou a tarefa de entender-me, de acurdir-me quando todas as solidões se fizerem presente, quando todos os tumores da alma estiverem num sentir agudo. Quando eu ja não couber nesta fantasia de paz e calma, nesta absurda idéia de querer ser feliz.
To Someone
The architecture of the city is plural and restless. Your voice comes and goes. The sky was pale blue today. White here and there. Clouds. Whispers. Our dialog is more vivid now. I still see how intense your eyes are. You come and go from me. But I know you never really leave. At least, that is the illusion that keeps me - going? I see patterns. They make sense. Like you made sense a while ago. I can't reason with Love, can I? Love, this palpable, irrational measurement of attachment and desire. I don't know if you are the same anymore. The same I knew. Did I ever know you? It doesn't matter because you fit like a symptom fits a disease. You fit my fantasy. My fantasy was so concrete and so tangible. I play us in my head. If I had. If you had. But history doesn't rewrite itself. I can't walk down the street to try and find you. Unchanged sea. Under the same sheltering sky. I love you.
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