A little story
One day I was at work and a customer came over to me to ask me out. It turns out he happens to have a girlfriend and let me just clarify it: she's also a customer. I turned him down at least a couple of times. Later I’ve heard he was asking my co-workers out as well. Apparently, he was desperate. (More on this matter on my next posts about dating and men).
He confessed to me - without me even asking him (it seems to me that he suffers of a very severe case of diarrhea of the mouth) - that the reason why they were still together was that every single time he tried to break things off, she would start crying.
Maybe, at this point, you are pondering that he's a nice and compassionate guy. I do know that people are not good or bad. But I do know the difference between right and wrong.
I saw him again today after (let's just throw a luckily in there to emphasize that I am not into him at all) a long hiatus. He came to talk to me and again without me asking, he gave me the news. His girlfriend of 10 years - I said ten freaking years - is dying of cancer.
There I was witnessing his fucked up behavior and wondering: what the fuck is he doing?
On top of being with her for 10 years without being in love with her (not on my book), not marrying her, disrespecting her publicly (he has done it so many times, I've seen it and I've been told and he did once in front of both of us meaning her and I), he now wears a mask of the poor guy who’s staying with her through thick and thin. He told me with his eyes (the same eyes that check out every single woman who goes by) looking to the side, almost in a theatrical manner: she's the best. Now, that she’s dying he realizes that.
And you, Dear Reader, are going to ask me to be understanding? You’re going to ask me to see things in shades of gray? Perhaps, you’re going to say: men are like that. Accept it.
Here’s my answer to you: I might die alone, unhappy, never have kids, but I am not going to settle and I am not going to take crap from men ever again. If I am misled to believe one thing and they present another, I am going to go ahead and do something about it. I don’t need pity, lies, cowardice. My life is great the way it is. Could it be better? Yes, it could, but I am a non-conformist. I seek equality. I seek respect. I value my peace of mind. Men like him should never get away with murder.
But maybe women also have their share on it. Maybe they're guilty too. Mainly they educate and teach their children, who also happen to be (sometimes) boys, who are going to grow up one day and (hopefully) marry women.
Women, I ponder, after all are also the ones that cheat when men are cheating, they're the ones that accept many things that aren't right. So many of them allow that kind of behavior and they lower their standards, they depend on men, they don’t want to be alone, and they find excuses for themselves and their men. I don’t. I try not to.
And if that’s a problem for you, than let’s call it quits. If you think that that’s seeing things in black and white, so be it. I just don’t sugar coat anything. And if you’re going to love me, love me well, or don’t love me at all. I don’t like breadcrumbs. At least, not anymore and not for a long time.
He confessed to me - without me even asking him (it seems to me that he suffers of a very severe case of diarrhea of the mouth) - that the reason why they were still together was that every single time he tried to break things off, she would start crying.
Maybe, at this point, you are pondering that he's a nice and compassionate guy. I do know that people are not good or bad. But I do know the difference between right and wrong.
I saw him again today after (let's just throw a luckily in there to emphasize that I am not into him at all) a long hiatus. He came to talk to me and again without me asking, he gave me the news. His girlfriend of 10 years - I said ten freaking years - is dying of cancer.
There I was witnessing his fucked up behavior and wondering: what the fuck is he doing?
On top of being with her for 10 years without being in love with her (not on my book), not marrying her, disrespecting her publicly (he has done it so many times, I've seen it and I've been told and he did once in front of both of us meaning her and I), he now wears a mask of the poor guy who’s staying with her through thick and thin. He told me with his eyes (the same eyes that check out every single woman who goes by) looking to the side, almost in a theatrical manner: she's the best. Now, that she’s dying he realizes that.
And you, Dear Reader, are going to ask me to be understanding? You’re going to ask me to see things in shades of gray? Perhaps, you’re going to say: men are like that. Accept it.
Here’s my answer to you: I might die alone, unhappy, never have kids, but I am not going to settle and I am not going to take crap from men ever again. If I am misled to believe one thing and they present another, I am going to go ahead and do something about it. I don’t need pity, lies, cowardice. My life is great the way it is. Could it be better? Yes, it could, but I am a non-conformist. I seek equality. I seek respect. I value my peace of mind. Men like him should never get away with murder.
But maybe women also have their share on it. Maybe they're guilty too. Mainly they educate and teach their children, who also happen to be (sometimes) boys, who are going to grow up one day and (hopefully) marry women.
Women, I ponder, after all are also the ones that cheat when men are cheating, they're the ones that accept many things that aren't right. So many of them allow that kind of behavior and they lower their standards, they depend on men, they don’t want to be alone, and they find excuses for themselves and their men. I don’t. I try not to.
And if that’s a problem for you, than let’s call it quits. If you think that that’s seeing things in black and white, so be it. I just don’t sugar coat anything. And if you’re going to love me, love me well, or don’t love me at all. I don’t like breadcrumbs. At least, not anymore and not for a long time.
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