When

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When he met me, I had decided not to go out with anybody. So, when I heard the question: are you planning on going out with that guy?, we were walking on Spagnola Way, side by side, as I was admiring the shop's windows and their colorful expensive products. I got very surprised and defensive. I wasn't planning on going out with anybody, as I said. It also surprised me to hear that question coming from you. I always felt like we could talk about many things, but it didn't seem like that was none of your business.
KGB seemed sweet and I guess you know me well enough to know that I liked him, maybe something on my face revelead that. Perhaps that's why you asked the question. I am a romantic, unfortunately. Soon enough, I let my guard down and was going out with a person who is fair from being someone who is compatible with me. Little by little, I was finding out all these things about him that rubbed me the wrong way.
But I insisted and succumbed to his come-backs and take-me-back pleads. I wasn't strong enough to see the size of the damage he was causing. I couldn't anticipate what was going to happen next. Now, I grieve not the loss of someone I despise completely. I grieve the loss of myself. The loss of control over the situation. The loss of my dignity. There are so many losses. It's too bad I have a hard time following my instincts when I like someone. Had I been stronger, none of this would've happened.
And still, I don't know why you asked me that question.

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