Normality

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Manolo turns 8 months-old today.
We have our little routines, the four of us.
I am happy dogie mommy.
I miss you. The pain is.
Made myself two cups of coffee this morning.
There's nothing I want more in life than being happy with someone. I guess realizing that is a great step.
But I know relationships are hard to sustain.
And I know compromising is hard work.
Haven't heard from the Key Biscayne office just yet.
Music was our background panel.
I listened to Kind of Blue last night.
That was one of our soundtracks.
We had so many.
It made me think of me crying in your arms.
I have fantasized about seeing you
& being with you, I lust you
Not sure why because we have nothing to say to each other.
I miss dancing. I miss tango. I miss. Amiss.
I wonder if you are fine. Happy.
If you have a new person.
If you are angry.
Writing will help me heal & time.
My memories of you are blurry.
Your happy smile was beautiful.
Feeling you while you held me was magical.
One of the best sensorial experiences I have ever had.
You claim love. Oh, the lies.
The perks of being lied to.
The doubt you had when he was talking about his lies to other people.
His theories on white lies. His definition of white lies.
Oh, your enthusiasm.
The losses.
You are drifting away by the minute.

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