Beijando sonhos

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Retiro do tempo uma fatia. Larga, úmida. Cheia de poros. Retiro do tempo o melhor que eu te dei. E as coisas que me emprestaste. Uma vez me cobraste que eu desse a cara a tapa. Não demorou muito para que me esbofeteasses. Certas pessoas são habilidosas ao cobrar coragem. Abusaste de minha patria. Como se o fato de eu te amar te desse o direito de me maltratar.

Hoje entras aqui e me olhas de relance. Ou terei sido eu que te olhei de soslaio? Eu tremia, inteira e folha ao vento frio. Dezembro de perdas. Dezembro de diagnósticos ruins. De prognósticos incertos. De tantas faltas acumuladas ao longo deste ano cruel.

Escondendo que dentro o coração pulsava inquieto, querendo falar contigo. Tremi ao ver-te. Mas não vou me fazer mal. Vais escorrer de mim, vais indo aos poucos, te despedes. Toda tua intensidade vai se descolando, se soltando. Uma pele que eu não quero e não preciso mais. Nunca te precisei. Era urgente querer-te. Eu me libertava ainda mais quando estava contigo. Eu fazia pequenos filmes para ti. Cada cena minha era uma oferenda. Te cansaste de ser deus.

E adivinha: estou aqui, sorrindo, altiva. Seguindo adiante. Dançando ao vento. E beijando meus sonhos. Te cortando.

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