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Tua presença me faz lembrar o quanto estava viva naquele tempo. E agora tudo que eu sei é que estou adormecida. Te ver me faz mal. Me lembra daquela que fui e que já não existe. Me lembra da morte lenta que foi te tirar de mim.

Foi há quase dois anos. E ainda dói tanto me lembrar de ti naquela cama, num quarto escuro, e reviver aqueles dias em pensamento.

Não sei o porquê de estar assim tão triste. Tudo vai indo bem. Sei que nem deves te perguntar. Mas eu te digo: tudo vai bem, obrigada.

Sei que falo bastante sobre as minhas crises diante da falta do que dizer. E agora não vai ser diferente. Abro um documento no word e tento escrever. Quase todas as tentativas são infrutíferas.

Fomos ontem pela primeira vez ao cinema juntos, os quatro. Ele, ela, a cachorrinha, e eu. O filme foi ótimo, a companhia idem, e a cachorrinha dormiu durante todo o filme. Seguraste minha mão e eu ainda não acredito que estás aqui. Embora eu esteja coletando evidências.

Sexta-feira: A diferença entre quem tem (muita) grana e quem não tem. Ou tem menos. Eu pelo menos tinha a beleza das estrelas. E o desejo pela água.

Eu, de certa forma, tenho talento para fazer soar alarmes. Alarmes falsos.

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