Blues

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Nao e tanto por ver que as pessoas a minha volta estao conseguindo o que querem, estou contente por elas. Elas sabem o que querem. Essa e a grande diferenca e o que realmente me chateia muito, eu sei que nao sei o que quero. Eu pensei que queria um grande amor. Uma carreira. Meus hobbies. Queria aprender. Mas o que sinto agora e um cansaco tao grande que me sinto esmagada pela realidade. E a realidade me dilacera. Envelhecer nao esta na aparencia, mas sim nesta falta de elan e energia para a vida. Dancar tango me faz bem. Ter independencia me faz bem. Mas eu vejo a distancia que existe entre a gente. Me maltrata a indiferenca. Me maltrata a ignoracia. E a burrice. Me vejo ressentida com a vida e com as minhas proprias escolhas. Onde outras pessoas encontram satisfacao e alegria, eu encontro tedio. Minha vida comecou de novo depois do divorcio. Sinto que a minha energia e saude estao se esvaindo. Nao aguento mais estar sempre cansada ou acordar no meio da noite por causa da labirintite. Me sinto estressada, confusa.

Comments

  1. Anonymous12:32 AM

    De Armando...una especie de mantra (un poco radical) de Gonzalo Rojas, para verse y saberse vivo…

    Monólogo del fanático

    Por mis venas discurre la sangre presurosa del animal inútil
    que come cuatro veces al día como un puerco,
    que me tutea y me deprime
    con su palabra ufana,
    testimonio evidente de esta parte de mí
    que se muere al nacer, como una nube;
    lo blando, lo confuso, lo que siempre esta fuera
    del peligro, el adorno y el encanto.

    No beberé. No comeré otra carne
    que la luz del peligro.
    No morderé otra boca que la boca del fuego.
    No saldré de mi cuerpo sino para morirme.

    Ya no respiraré para otra cosa
    que para estar despierto noche y día.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Keiko12:45 PM

    Gracias, Armando. No lo conocia. Me gusta.

    ReplyDelete

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