Smiling

It was Thursday night. I told myself I should go out and try to have fun. I didn't really feel like going out by myself, but I am so used to it. Time has taught me that if I want to have fun or entertain myself, I should find no excuses. I love going out, I pondered. In my internal dialog, I also wanted to fight an imaginary demon. How to attend a milonga again?

I thought that if worse came to worse, I could simply leave.

I fought all the excuses possible. I became pensive. Then I decided to go no matter what.

Just like that. Impulse?!?! Well...ok. Sort of.

I was able to attend the last part of the class. I talked to the teacher and she was very nice. I've met a lot of people, danced a great deal and the music was excellent. I learned so much. I did feel nostalgic, I cannot deny it. A couple of songs almost made me cry.

People said beautiful things about me to me, my dancing, my looks, and my smile. It was nice to start from scratch.

I even danced salsa and felt lost, but I didn't feel any pressure.

I left when I felt like leaving, especially because I was going to go somewhere else. At that other place people made me laugh with their comments and they also commented on the fact that I should smile more. I always take these "shoulds" with a grain of salt, though. Who goes around smiling like they're on drugs? I smile when I feel like it. I grant my smile to people I like and love. I am proud to say that most of the time my smiles are genuine. I don't like Pan-American smiles at all. Not even receiving those.

I had a great time on Thursday night. I did things at my own pace and I felt great being on my own. I am starting to appreciate that I don't follow trends and that's ok.

I celebrate the fact that I am who I am. And for that reason I smile.