unicidades

Sometimes I think of the lives I didn’t live. Like the life of a hummingbird whose heart can beat for over a thousand times a minute. Such a tiny body and yet, so full of energy and muscle power to travel around, with such mesmerizing grace and speed. Sometimes I also think about the life we didn’t have together. How I fool myself thinking it is ok. It is not ok to walk around with a broken heart. It is not ok to relive our brief moments together as if I were watching a movie—so many misunderstandings. I don’t know what hurts more: if the fact I don’t matter (to you) or the fact that you don’t get me. I can’t have my old life back. I can’t live this one either. I have been waiting for things to change, and it has all been in vain. I miss you when I don’t miss you. I think of you when I don’t think of you. My heart, whose power is not strong enough to beat a thousand times per minute, is tired. It is broken. And yet, it recognizes that its main purpose is to love you. It might not bea