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Showing posts from June, 2011

New York

In less than a month I will be in New York for something that I have anticipated for a very long time. In a way, I feel like this is my opportunity to explore my artistic side in a very complete way. I am still waiting for my dress that is coming from Germany. I also ordered three pairs of Comme Il Faut from Buenos Aires. I still have to buy stockings just in case I decide to wear them. The photographer never e-mailed me back so I should, at least in theory, contact someone else. Sometimes I ask myself: why on Earth have you decided to compete? Then, I pause and retort to myself: I like the challenge. I like the idea that I am giving my best to this project. I think my mom would have been proud. I see people being happy for me and telling me that some of them will be there to support me. So, I guess it is worth it.

It will take me...

...many years to become a Buddhist. I have to be honest with myself. Buddhism does appeal to me a great deal, but I just don't think I can become enlightened, especially if I continue helping people on a daily basis.

One of my favorite songs at the moment

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Solamente Ella Tango 1944 Música: Lucio Demare Letra: Homero Manzi Ella vino una tarde y era triste fantasma de silencio y de canción, llegaba desde un mundo que no existe.Vacío de esperanza el corazón. Era nube, sin rumbo ni destino, tenía la ternura del adiós. Mi paso la siguió por cien caminos y un día mi fatiga la alcanzó. Ella, piel de sombra, voz ausente. Ella, en mis brazos se durmió. Juntos, sin saberlo torpemente, aprendimos duramente las verdades del amor. Ella, floreció bajo la luna. Ella, renació para mi afán. Juntos, sin angustias, sin reproche, sin pasado, noche a noche, aprendimos a soñar. Sus palabras que estaban ateridas. Entonces se encendieron de emoción. Con fuego de mi amor volvió a la vida, la que era sólo el eco de un adiós. Ella vino a mi mano en el invierno, vacío de esperanza el corazón. Hoy vive entre mis sueños y es eterno su sueño de mujer y de canción. I have been lucky to take a private and listen to Francisco Lomuto's Orchestra for two hours. I

What I always thought

I thought I was going to find a man who was going to be the love of my life, with whom I would have a wonderful relationship. Someone who would be inspiring. I now know that dancing tango is that love I have dreamed of.

Tango Music

I have to write a post about tango music again. Tango music seems to be my soul's language.

Dress

My dress for the big day has been shipped from Germany and it's on its way here.

My Maserati

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These beauties will arrive tonight. Actually, my shoes have been delivered already, but I will only see them tonight. I so want to run home to open the package.

Swamped

I have been swamped by things I have to do to prepare. Tango has been very intense and a lot of hard work. My ear is not getting any better. I just wish that this would disappear as it came. Just like that, out of the blue. I have the shoes, I have the dresses. I have the makeup. The registration has been submitted. I need to see if I can find a photographer and a person to film the event in New York. I am so excited that when I think about that, I start shaking. I can't help it.

Toda

Essa plastica beleza da vida impressa me deixa meio que atordoada. A vida editada em papel parece algo tao suspenso que quase me faz sentir que estou me afogando na irrealidade, numa vida sem correcoes. A vida editada e um jardim babilonico. Existe entre uma camada atmosferica que a gente sabe que existe, mas nao e palpavel.

Dancing

dancing the dances of passion in which me recolho ao calor do conhecido de certa forma I am looking for a lost nest

Gota Sentida

sentindo me pequenina como uma uma got-a

A Journey

I just finished reading the Journey To The Edge of the Light: A Story of Love, Leukemia, and Transformation by Cristina Nehring. I've read her other book A Vindication Of Love and it became one of my favorite books. The Journey To The Edge is a very concise and intense book about faith in life, maternal, unconditional love. The writer got pregnant by accident and went on to having a baby  whom, she discovered after the delivery, had been born with Down Syndrome. Nehring wasn't married at the time. She still isn't married. The baby's father left both of them soon after the baby was born. She claims, at the beginning of the Journey, that she had hopes for the relationship with the father of the child when she decided to have the baby. This book touches me in several levels. More than ever I've experienced a holler coaster of emotions towards my current relationship status, my family, my values and my circumstances. I ask myself: why do people have children? What make

Blues

Nao e tanto por ver que as pessoas a minha volta estao conseguindo o que querem, estou contente por elas. Elas sabem o que querem. Essa e a grande diferenca e o que realmente me chateia muito, eu sei que nao sei o que quero. Eu pensei que queria um grande amor. Uma carreira. Meus hobbies. Queria aprender. Mas o que sinto agora e um cansaco tao grande que me sinto esmagada pela realidade. E a realidade me dilacera. Envelhecer nao esta na aparencia, mas sim nesta falta de elan e energia para a vida. Dancar tango me faz bem. Ter independencia me faz bem. Mas eu vejo a distancia que existe entre a gente. Me maltrata a indiferenca. Me maltrata a ignoracia. E a burrice. Me vejo ressentida com a vida e com as minhas proprias escolhas. Onde outras pessoas encontram satisfacao e alegria, eu encontro tedio. Minha vida comecou de novo depois do divorcio. Sinto que a minha energia e saude estao se esvaindo. Nao aguento mais estar sempre cansada ou acordar no meio da noite por causa da labirintite.