unicidades

Tango puzzle: how come you feel the music, but you don't dance on the beat?

Zest. Lemon zest. Salt. Sea salt. Silence. Sad silence. Wind. Strong wind. Life. Lonely life. What if you like what everybody else likes. What if you are just like everybody else. What if your experiences represent/mean exactly the same. What if you don't even have questions to ask anymore. What if you have so many regrets you can barely breathe. What if you are not as strong as you thought you were. What if the light is being drained from you. So many things happening around the world. I am worried about my own survival. Me, a meaningless creature. I should be humble. Oil killing so many animals. Protesters being pepper-sprayed. People being killed and arrested. Me, worried with these  - my own - very insignificant problems. Issues. Pauses. Ding. Dong. Bells. The insignificant world of one. 

Why do we take chances on love?

Lazy weekend.

I don't like the background in this picture, but I had such a lovely time.

I am trying to digest the news. My father is getting married in three months.

All it takes to have your tango steem demolished is one class with an outstanding teacher. Sigh.

To compare is to kill so many possibilities. So, it's late at night, I struggle to continue sleeping because dreaming and thinking are the same. I start thinking about comparisons. What do comparisons do? How do they work in the brain? Why do parents compare their children? Why do we compare our parents? One of the first exercises I did in English back in Los Angeles was a writing exercise of comparing and contrasting. My teacher was a great humble man who inspired us to learn. He had to ask me to stop participating in his class once because I was so talkative and I wouldn't give other people the opportunity to talk. His classes were inspiring. I read Steinbeck for the first time in his class. We talked about philosophy. He took care of me one time by giving me some painkillers as he saw that I was in pain. Comparing is not fair. My mom used to compare me to my cousins. I hated that. Comparing is, however, inevitable. We compare today to yesterday. The new shoes or dress to

I celebrate nine years since I moved here today. In Brazil is Valentine's Day today.

Little by little, I start to realize that other people are not as precise with words. That for some reason is so painful. It gives me the impression that you'd never know what people really mean. I guess I have to start focusing on what they say, rather than what they mean.

One of my students performed the Star Spangled Banner in class last night. All of us stood up to listen to him. He brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful moment. What a beautiful voice. He does love this country. I live for such moments. I will never forget his performance in class when all the students got up and aplauded so vigourously. After four years teaching the same class, one kind of gets used to it and doesn't see the beauty of it anymore. I guess I take myself for granted in that respect. Last night I felt so special to be there at that particular moment. I've instructed my student to tell his interviewer that he's an opera singer and that he would like to perform the national anthem at the day of the naturalization ceremony. He invited me to attend and I will make sure to be there to document the moment and to aplaud him one more time.

One of the things I like about one of my new Comme il Faut is that it looks like a romantic dream.

The problem is that the way I show you that I love you is so different than the way you show me that you love me. Then, we get stuck in the middle of a road, late at night, without communicating. We talk, but we don't understand each other. I love you when I kiss you goodnight, when I hold your hand, when I tickle you, when I look for your skin. I love you when I cook for you, when I don't make you wait for me, when I get dressed for you. I love you when I talk about the things that make you happy, when I do those things for you, when I look forward to dancing with you. I love you when I show you songs that I love and I interpret them for you, I love you when I see you walking, when we make short-term plans, when we have no plans. I love you when I make you smile or you laugh because you think I am funny. I love you when all the silence between us is possible and welcomed. I love you when the sun is coming up and we're together. I am capable of loving you when I know

My Comme il Faut family has grown. I acquired two more pairs yesterday and I got one pair as a gift. I still need a black pair, but I just can't resist all the funky colors and designs. The one that was a gift has silver and and two diffferent shades of green. The symbolic way I see that pair is: the silver represents the stars; the two different shades of green represent the ocean. Things I don't get tired of looking at. I hope I can put those feelings of contemplating the stars and the ocean into my dancing. So I will have the sparkle of a star and the movement of the ocean.