So, it was a party

I have to learn how to keep my mouth shut. I went to a party last night, which is something that kind of makes me a little uncomfortable, but I had to go since I hadn't seen them for a long time and it was a birthday party. 

Everything was fine, but I think I just don't  get along with the birthday person anymore. Not like it used to be, which makes me very sad. Somehow we grew apart and the person who used to be my best friend is now my sister-in-law. For different reasons and life's ironies, she had a baby girl and is the happiest person on Earth. I am happy for her, but maybe I know too much and have been through so much that I can just look at that and see how people take happiness in their lives. I am no one to talk about that, since my happiness resides in dancing tango and my romantic life has been a mess for so long, basically since it has started. 

At any rate, things were going fine and I was having a good time despite the fact that it seems like I don't feel in love with the baby. I guess I never feel in love with babies. I don't know why. They are cute and everything, but it's hard for me to get close to them. However, she is my niece  and her mom insists I should carry the baby and kiss the baby non-stop and be all over the baby, which I am not and I think that bothers her.

At some point, she was talking how blessed she was this year and I couldn't help, but remind her that this was the year Piuca died. Not that I wanted to be cruel or anything or spoil her happiness because I am jealous. I am not jealous of her happiness. She always knew she wanted to be a mom and that is great, for her. But it's inevitable to confront reality. The truth in my opinion is out there, you can deny it because it's comfortable or embrace it. Piuca died and she was a little angel. Maybe I am just trying to see the negative (that's what my sister-in-law implied). She made me think. Am I really only focused on the negative?
The mom's reaction was to turn to her aunt and say that people should focus on the good things because that's what one is going to teach their kids. So, I guess for the sake of my niece we should all forget Piuca died. 

Piuca's love was (so) unconditional, she was so sweet and delicate that I see that as a big loss not to be forgotten. Maybe because I love dogs and see them as very special creatures. I left the party wondering and sure of two things: people change a lot after they have kids (especially women) and we should treasure friendships while they last because as most things in life, they are temporary and volatile.