What is real tango?

J & K - La Pituca Performance - By David Lee

August 05, 2011

I am not sure what real tango is. After things start to acquire different meanings to each and everyone, those things can pretty much be anything. Real tango means *to me* the connection between two people and a tango song. A real embrace. That's what I thought we had. That was my downfall. Last Sunday, I went to a milonga I don't usually go to, hoping not to see you. Or maybe if I am really honest with myself, I'd have to say that I wanted to see you. I wanted to see you dancing with other women and not panic and not cry and not leave the room. After I heard you saying that you will not stop dancing because of any woman in this world (which is a valid statement and wise decision) and saying that you don't need anybody, that any woman can connect with you and follow you, I came to realize that I was the one adding meaning to us. I was the one staying in an unhealthy relationship because of this twisted notion that our tango meant so much. I made sacrifices. I swallowed my pride so many times to be next to you. Now I realize that we may have been in many senses, including tango, holding each other from growing and evolving. I always insisted that we had to dance with other people, obviously, according to the situation. Then I saw you dancing and dancing and dancing and I danced as well. I felt like I was dying. But I didn't die and I am not going to die. I will stay strong. When the salsa break came, I got my bags and left to someone's house. I was held. I was held all night long. And my eyes were teary because inside of me someone is dead. Not sure I will love again. Not sure I will find my real tango.