Elegance Of The Hedgehog

Self-Portrait

Maybe I have given up on being happy.

My sister-in-law is expecting. My days are bitter. Motherhood startles me with its silent presence in me. Love has never seen more distant. Yet, so close.



He asked me: why don't you have dinner with me? I wonder: would I be able not to fall again?

Are you jumping the gun? I suspect: You just want a fling.

Maybe. Love is not for me. For us.

Let's play. My most beautiful essays don't live here anymore. Is it because beauty has left?

Or is it because I am just too busy to think about what is happening. I used to write long emails. Now I write short text messages. Maybe my style has changed and there's only so much I can do.