Shrapnel flying

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Since then I was in New Mexico and North Carolina, beautiful skies at night. A multitude of color, clouds and stars. Since then I have been struggling with balancing life and love and then some pieces of love breaking into the skin and cutting it deep. I lost a sense of understanding. Lost a sense of purpose. Lost the very thin sense of belonging I had. I don't recognize the walls I see. I miss the red and the water. What is it like to have love and that love make you feel unloved? Does that even make sense? Am I capable of eliminating thoughts from my head? Is that the only way? 

I think of three of you. So unavailable. 


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