Until

I used to think I was good with words. Until

Today was a special day. 

I am afraid there's no way the blend we are will ever change/disappear. For good or bad. You are with me in the things I see. The lasting memories. I move forward in the empty space that is possible. I carry your heart. I saw a leaf heart last night. I don't believe in signs, not anymore. But there it was. A big heart, a big leaf. And the memory of you. The blue memory of you.  Marrying someone else will not change what we were. 

I read the other day about biocentrism and how death doesn't really exist. How time doesn't exist. Sometimes I sense five years haven't really happened gone by. It's a physical experience. I relive our experiences in my head. I wish I had more memories. I wish I could remember more. 

That's all I know. 

At last, sound and scent.